Burn the Negatives; Make Room for the Positives

 

Burn the Negatives; Make Room for the Positives. Photo: Herb Ryan: http://www.custerfreepress.com

By Peg Ryan
Mile High Pilates and Yoga
January 22, 2017

CUSTER, SD – Winter can feel overwhelming at times.  For example, weather can interfere with the best laid plans.  Maybe you made a New Year’s resolution to walk more.  You start off really well and suddenly the temperatures dive, the sidewalks shine with ice and the trails in the woods are clogged with snow. Even winter sports enthusiasts can be disappointed when there is just enough snow and ice to be a hazard, but not enough to support the fun stuff.  If you decide to go elsewhere to ski or swim, you can find yourself stymied by airline delays or cancellations. Then there is the busyness that comes in January after the long stretch of holiday breaks that characterize November and December.  So much to catch up on – so little time!  Despite solstice the days are still short.  Time seems compressed and suddenly everyone seems to want a piece of yours.  There just never seems to be enough to go around.

Combine all this with Seasonal Affected Disorder and (dare I say it . . .) post-election anxiety and we have the ingredients for a deep dive into depression.  Take heart, though.  Just when you think hope is pointless and the light at the end of the tunnel appears dim or even non-existent, along comes the Burning Beetle Blues Festival in Custer SD.  What a great example of turning negatives into positives.

For the past couple of decades, the forests in western states from Canada to the southwest U.S. have been ravaged by an onslaught of voracious bark beetles.  The plague has had an enormous impact on the Black Hills in general, and Custer in particular.  About 5 years ago, some Custer residents decided to turn the hand-wringing and lamentation into action.  Thus began the Bark Beetle Blues festival.  The first year of the event saw residents drowning their sorrows in music and art.  Sculptures and picture frames were created with the “blue wood” of the dead trees remaining after the beetles had their fill.  The talented musicians of the Black Hills wrote songs and performed them for a delighted audience.  School children danced and sang.  The festival became a much needed and appreciated antidote for cabin fever in the middle of January when most South Dakotans are house-bound and already longing for Spring.  The following year launched what has become a tradition of burning a huge effigy of a beetle.  Since then the festival has grown to include a variety show and fireworks display. Last year a crew from National Geographic turned up to film the event.  (Unfortunately, I could not find an on-line link to the article, but you can probably find a paper copy in a local library.)   Some years have featured bitter cold January weather, but that has not stopped a huge crowd from turning out for these events.

Witnessing this year’s event made me think of the ritual of the fire puja.  Fire is one of the five basic elements including earth, water, air and ether (empty space) that provide the energies of our known universe.  Using the ritual of fire helps us to let go of things that are no longer useful to make room for new ideas and intentions.  Of course we always want to honor the power of fire and treat it appropriately, but with safety taken into consideration, we can all create our own fire ritual.  If you’re feeling stuck, it can be very satisfying to think about the obstacles in your path, write them on paper and cast them in the fire.  Taking some time to recognize the factors in your way can be the first step to finding ways around them.

Many of us can find examples in our own lives where unexpected positives have emerged from even the most dire or sorrowful situations. This is certainly true for me.  Many of the plans I made in my life have not panned out, but other things have happened that I never could have imagined.  This has become a good reminder when I become disappointed over something not going my way.  And – yes – I need to remind myself.  It is a daily practice to remember to take each day as it comes and accept things as they are, proceeding from there instead of wishing things were different and letting negativity cloud my day.

In recent weeks I’ve seen friends of mine turn their fear into activism.  They have been joined by others who share their concerns.  Perhaps they’ve been surprised to learn that so many others felt the same way they did.  It is a confidence-builder to find out you’re not alone.  Taking that first dangerous step into the unknown can feel so solitary and isolating.  But once that leap is made, the results can be surprising.  In the fire ritual, mourning can be a necessary process leading up to the decision to let go.  But at some point it is necessary to let the mourning pass and rejoin the world.  It’s not always easy and it can be a rocky process, but all it really takes is putting one foot in front of the other and being open to the opportunities around you.  That, too, is an opportunity for practice.

So, to borrow from Shakespeare, if now is the winter of your discontent, try moving out of your own way.  Throw those obstacles into the fire and take a chance on something new.  Renew your resolve to do whatever you decided to accomplish in 2017.  And remember – if your New Year’s resolutions are already getting lost in the undertow or if weather has gotten in the way of your movement plans, there is no better time than now to find a new activity.  An exercise class is a great way to start.  Movement will lift your mood and boost your energy.  Also just like my activist friends, you may be surprised to find friendly like-minded souls who will happily help you along on your journey without judgment of any kind.  We are all looking forward to having you to join us.  Our welcome mat is always out!

Independence Days

Photo: Thomas Hawk

By Peg Ryan
Mile High Pilates and Yoga

Custer, SD – Recently I gave a birthday card to a friend which featured an elderly woman wearing stereotypical motorcycle gear including black leather jacket and hat complete with metal studs.  The message on the cover was something like “We’re young enough to be rebels” followed by the punch line inside: “but old enough not to give a crap!”  We had a good chuckle over this sentiment, but it got me to thinking.  How many of us really get to a point where we stop caring what other people think? Of course, there are some of us who have never cared.  Personally I admire those free spirits.  But most of us have public perception so deeply ingrained in our psyches that it is difficult to avoid dancing through our lives to someone else’s tune.  Even if we manage to avoid the trap of wondering “how will this look to others?”, we often create arbitrary standards for ourselves by which we gauge our actions or appearance.  We berate ourselves when we fall short and feel pleased when we meet the measurement only to be disappointed when we find it difficult to sustain.  We’re all guilty of this at one time or another, myself very much included.

Another friend recently described an incident in which she found herself running through a crowd trying to catch up with a group she was with that had moved on without her.  “I was so embarrassed!” she said as she recounted the story. “What if I had tripped and stumbled or fallen?”  Thankfully, she didn’t.  And she did manage to reunite with her group.  But I could not help but wonder why this should be embarrassing.  The fact that she could run at all was, to me, something to celebrate rather than something to hide.  And even if she had slipped, someone in the crowd would certainly have helped her.  In my opinion, the fear of “looking silly” limited her freedom.  Instead of enjoying that run, she probably just wanted to get it over with hoping that no one would notice.  Our society places a high value on the concept of freedom and yet as individuals we consistently limit our own.

Sometimes the fear of being judged by others can, unfortunately, be justified.  It never ceases to amaze me how easily people are willing to condemn perfect strangers based on nothing more than third party hearsay.  Judgments can be pronounced without any personal knowledge of the individual being judged or the circumstances that person finds themselves in.  Our modern society seems to be particularly segmented these days with people forming like-minded groups and listening only to those that agree with them.  Regrettably, this is not a new phenomenon.  It has been going on for as long as humans have engaged in social structures.  In fact, it may well be the reason we all have built-in judgment meters. Centuries of rules and standards of behavior have been established to mark the differences among tribes. These standards have given people observable methods for determining who is like me (safe) and who is different from me (dangerous). It has been programmed into our DNA to abide by the rules others have laid out.

But I digress. This article is not about the rules societies need to survive and thrive. Instead I’m referring here to those quirky internal rules we think we need to follow that are more related to perception than they are to survival. In fact, rather than contributing to our well-being, these rules can instead be a source of resentment and self-destruction. Still there is an upside.  Since we created these rules, we have the power to change them.

Here is something to keep in mind when you’re worrying about how others will view you:  most people are so focussed on themselves that they won’t even notice what you’re doing.  Which brings me back to my favorite topic:  exercise. These ideas, though, can apply to anything done in groups or in public.  In general, whatever it is that concerns you, the person next to you is probably worrying about the same thing. Or maybe something completely different, but whatever they are thinking it is probably not about you. The stress you create for yourself by stewing about what you look like is keeping you from paying attention to the movement itself, how it feels and the positive benefits it is providing for you.  It also keeps you from experiencing the freedom of customizing the rules and moving in a way that is uniquely your own.

In the days when I was running I knew that my biomechanics and body type would probably never allow me to become a really fast runner.  Once when I asked a shoe salesman if he could recommend a style suitable for my foot type and running style he said, “There really isn’t anything.  Most people with those characteristics find it too painful to run.” As discouraging as that sounded, it did not keep me from running.  I ran for the love of running, not because I ever expected to be any good at it.  I learned to do the best I could with what I had to work with regardless of how it looked.  When injury and other circumstances meant that I could no longer sustain running, I changed my goals and found other ways to continue moving that have been just as satisfying.  Goals are an important motivating force, but all goals need to be flexible.  Everything is always changing.  Goals and the rules we establish to get to them should always be adaptable to changing circumstances.

One more thing to remember – we are all individuals with our own gifts, characteristics and idiosyncrasies but ultimately we are also interconnected.  Despite our fear of “the other”, we all have more in common than we might recognize. Everyone wants to survive; everyone wants to be loved.  We all need the basic elements of survival – food, shelter, etc. – and we all want to provide for ourselves, our families and loved ones.  Similarly everyone has experienced their own trials, mistakes, regrets or other foibles.  No one is exempt, no matter how perfect they appear or how good their lives look to us from the outside.  So do your own thing and stop worrying. If you stumble, have some compassion for yourself. Pick yourself up and keep moving. The person next to you has had their own stumbles and knows what it feels like.